About AJ Gajjar

​I am a trauma-informed parenting consultant, child development specialist, and children’s advocate specializing in high-conflict divorce, post-separation abuse, and coercive control dynamics.

​

My work sits at the intersection of attachment science, trauma-informed practice, and family law—supporting both professionals and parents in understanding the complex relational dynamics that shape children’s behaviour and wellbeing.

​

In high-conflict cases, children’s responses are often misinterpreted. What may present as resistance, refusal, or alignment with one parent can reflect underlying attachment disruption, nervous system overwhelm, and, in some cases, exposure to coercive or controlling dynamics.

​

I work alongside legal, mental health, and child-focused professionals to bring greater clarity to these patterns—helping ensure that decisions and interventions are grounded in a developmentally informed understanding of the child’s experience.

​

​

Professional Background and Focus

​Throughout my career, I have supported children and families impacted by early adversity, including developmental challenges, disruptions in caregiving relationships, and complex home environments.

​

Over time, my work became increasingly focused on the impact of separation and divorce—particularly in cases involving ongoing conflict, post-separation abuse, and coercive control.

​

As I deepened my engagement with both research and practice, I began to see consistent patterns that remain widely misunderstood within family systems and, at times, within legal frameworks. These include how relational stress, attachment disruption, and power dynamics can shape a child’s behaviour in ways that are often misinterpreted.

This recognition led to a more focused area of work: helping professionals understand the why behind a child’s behaviour—particularly in cases often described as resist-refuse dynamics or parent–child contact problems—through the lens of attachment, trauma, and relational safety.

​

​

Approach

​My work integrates:

​

• Attachment science

• Trauma-informed practice

• Developmental psychology

• An understanding of power and control dynamics within family systems

​​

This approach allows for a more nuanced understanding of what a child’s behavior is communicating—and what is required to support their sense of safety, regulation, and connection.

​

​

Trauma Healing Parenting

​I am the creator of Trauma Healing Parenting, an evidence-informed approach designed to support children navigating ongoing relational stress while strengthening the parent-child relationship as a foundation for healing and resilience.

​

This framework is applied in both my work with parents and in my consultation and training with professionals, bridging the gap between research, relational dynamics, and real-world application.

​​

​

Who I work with...​​

​

• Legal professionals navigating complex family law cases

• Mental health practitioners and child specialists

• Professionals working within domestic violence and child protection systems

• Parents navigating high-conflict separation and resist-refuse dynamics

 

 

Core Perspective

At the centre of my work is a simple but often overlooked principle:

​

Children’s behaviour cannot be understood in isolation from the relational environments they are adapting to.

When we understand those environments more accurately—including the presence of stress, attachment disruption, and coercive dynamics—we are better able to respond in ways that support not only immediate outcomes, but long-term wellbeing.